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Parenting with Respect's Journal

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5th June 2009

stickylatex1:28pm: What to Pay
Cross-posted everywhere! (I hope that's OK.)

What would be a reasonable amount to pay an almost-10-year-old for light-responsibility babysitting (I'll always be here), light housework, and also perhaps organizing/babyproofing.

And while I'm at it, (and so I don't have to ask again) what about the same duties more or less, what would you pay an adult? What about a teenager?


ETA: My baby is 4 months old.

27th May 2007

slothandfriends10:04am: Spread the word (X posted)
There is a boycott on Mossimo, a clothes line made for Target. The boycott is to persuade the company to change their campaign and apologize to the public. Their campaign for girls' clothes is too provocative. The young models wear make-up fit for a prostitute, skimpy clothes and pose in a manner that is too mature for their age. One out of every three women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. It is bad enough that women are objectified in commercials and magazines, but when little girls are objectified something has to be done. Write letters to Target Corporation and to Mossimo, tell them that you are taking a stand! Protect our children. Don't purchase Mossimo merchandise.

24th May 2007

ftmichael8:50am: Holy unschooling in unexpected places, Batman.

xkcd.com is brilliant. I highly recommend it. It's available on your LJ friends page as xkcd_rss.

16th March 2007


hi, im jes, im 25, married, and have a 5yo daughter.
my husband is in the marine corps, and im a sahm.
i homeschool. we eat mostly organic.
i suppose i practice ap. though i havnt read up on it since andi's infancy, so i dont really have a label for my beliefs/practices.

we are agnostic. and i try to teach my daughter understanding and diversity.

we live in a really small area. where the afformentioned < understanding and diversity > are incredibly hard to come by.

i do somewhat freelance portraiture, along with arts and crafts, and babysit a friends child to contribute to our funds.

me and my daughter are in the icon.
if i left anything out please let me know. and ill fix. or answer questions.
i look forward to getting to know everyone.

< x-posted to random communities i joined >

11th June 2006

summerhorse11:39am: I know I haven't been the most active participant of this community in awhile, and I apologize- I'm going to try harder, I swear.

In the meantime, though, I feel like I've lost control of my children completely. I really need help here. I have the three (special needs 6 yr old boy, 2 1/2, and 1 1/2 yr old girls) They walk all over me and run my house. I feel like those horrific families on Supernanny. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, though. I swear I'm following all the respected parenting techniques. They get positive reinforcement, 1-2-3 time outs, plenty of outside time, excersize, socialization, daily and weekly chores around the house, and they eat healthy. I restrict TV time and game time to a bare minimum and try to make them earn their privileges.

But here I am to the point of screaming my head off all day long because they won't listen to me unless I yell at the top of my lungs. If they are in one room together for more than 10 seconds they're beating up on one another and fighting loudly. I can't leave them for even the time it takes me to clean one room in my house, and they've got the rest of the house trashed. No matter how much I make them pick up their own messes, they fight and yell and cry about it until eventually at least 2 or the 3 are in time outs. Then after they've picked up, they go right back to destroying it all again. EVERYTHING has become a battle.

I'm half tempted to take ALL their toys away, leave their rooms bare and throw them outside to let them fight it out for the summer. Last kid standing wins? J/K ;) My 2 year old won't stay out of anything and she can get through all the childproof locks/gates/doorknobs. She's taken to shrieking at the top of her lungs if anything doesn't go her way, tantruming, and flatly refusing to potty train. Worst of all- she's teaching my younger daughter all of these things as well, so I'm about to have two awful girls on my hands. As if one wasn't bad enough. My son has taken to whining and begging and moping around the house all day. I literally have to FORCE the kid to go outside and play, then he sits out there moaning about how he wants to come in.

My husband tries to help as much as he can, but unfortunately he has to work a lot. On the few days he is home, he's ready to kill them himself by the end of the day. My friends are starting to comment that "Rachel, you know we love your kids- but they're psycho." My house has become one tension ridden, screaming, fighting, crying, bickering war zone and I'M SICK OF IT! I feel like the worst mom on earth and I'm seriously tempted some days to just drive away. That makes me feel even worse. I'm humiliated to even admit I'm having half of these problems.

Current Mood: anxious

8th June 2006

the_fishery10:51am: potty mouth

ok my last post was a little rambled and i didnt get a lot of responces so im trying again.

Levi keeps saying "i'll kill you" and now he is telling me "brandon (my husband) is going to kill me"

this was picked up from the kids outside that he played with one day and will never play with again. my problem is how do i stop the bad words and phrases now! Levi visits with his dad regularly and if he goes to his dads and says "brandon is going to kill me" im sure he will be getting the law involved!

i know when i was little and said "bad" words i got my mouth rinsed out with soap. that is not ap and i cant do that. how do i stop this, now?

xposted everywhere

Current Mood: scared

19th February 2006

tko_ak7:59pm: Your help

I’m not particularly sure how to start this post, or even if such a post is allowed in this type of community, but I thought I’d give it a shot because I think it’s important.

I’ve never really cared for kids, and I certainly never thought I’d be a parent (both being gay and not liking children), but as I’ve become older, the notion of having a kid has grown on me. I guess time will tell. I have a good relationship with both of my parents, so I like to think they did a pretty good job.

Anyway, as I’m cross-posting this to a variety of parenting communities, the major content is behind an lj-cut for your convenience. Still, I’d appreciate your help.

I‘d appreciate your helpCollapse )

I’d appreciate your help, if you’re willing. I have a feeling many of you would take away from being a member, and your future (or current) children may benefit from your open mind. If you have any questions, please let me know. And again, I apologize if this sort of post isn’t allowed, although I do believe it fits within the scope of this community.


Founder & Maintainer, gsa_lj

23rd January 2006

gabes_momma10:34am: Shameless Promoting
Accept my apologies if this is not allowed in here, but didn't read anything on "no promoting allowed" on the user info page.

New Community-Very Active-Join Today!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

See ya there!!!

3rd December 2005

queenofthanite3:37pm: Hello =)
I have decided to create a community solely for the purpose of broadcasting Code Amber alerts. There is no need to join the community unless you wish to do so. Just simply "friend" the community and you will recieve the Amber alerts on your friend's page!!

I will also be putting up some other helpful links & news periodically, but they will be dated in the future so that they will stay at the top of the page to be easily accessable for visitors of the community! Therefore, you will not receive them on your friends page....so be sure to visit often!! Thank you for your concern in saving a child's life!!

4th November 2005

littlehounddog2:14pm: child born in '98?
Come and join kidsof1998!

24th August 2005

moonbrain3311:26pm: Help!
I am getting ready to start addressing the issue of labels on ds's toys with the in-laws. I don't want character toys/books in the house for him or religious toys/books. Is it right and within my limits for me to request the same with the toys they have for him at their house (regarding what they buy specifically for him)? What has your experience been with explaining your no logo policy with your family members who aren’t media savvy? How can I keep it simple for them without sounding like an over-protective parent (which they probably will think)? Dh is pretty ambivalent about this but he understands where I’m coming from and will support me. Unfortunately, he has no advice to offer and right now I have no friends with kids to ask – except my hip mama friends!


12th August 2005

ima_omi8:32pm: Score one for the low-tech mama!
This afternoon, my son and I had a blast playing on the front porch with a big pot of water, a few cups and a clean kitchen sponge. We were just goofing around trying to stay cool -- splashing each other, squeezing the sponge over each others' heads, pouring water from cup to cup. Later our friends came over for dinner. Mind you, I really like these friends a lot, and their daughter and my son are very close, in their little toddler way. But the friends' house is filled with every conceivable plastic toy, and the pace of life there is much faster & louder than at our house. (The child has a ball pit, for pete's sake.) So after dinner, the kids started playing together on the porch. There were squeals of delight as they splashed each other, made it "rain," and climbed into the pot! As they were leaving, my (adult) friend said, "I never imagined they could have so much fun with a pot of water and some cups."

xposted to my parenting groups

13th July 2005

ima_omi4:45pm: questions about anger
Hello all,

I am a 37-year-old mother of a glorious 16-month-old son. I come from a family of bathroom cryers; any "negative" emotion was hidden and disposed of in private, and grievances were rarely aired and discussed with the person they concerned. (More likely we'd, say, tell mom about what sister did that made us mad. I call it gathering an army.) As a result I don't know how to handle anger with my son. I want to create a more authentic emotional environment for him than I had growing up, and to give him the space to feel what he feels and talk it through. That depends, though, on being able to verbalize what's bothering you, and of course at his age, he cannot yet do that. So that's my question about *his* anger.

Then there's the question about *mine*.

I find, particularly as we're entering the toddler stage, that I am sometimes short-tempered with him, and that I don't know how to handle it. I sometimes have an explosive temper, which manifests itself in yelling and foul language, and sometimes jumping around. (Yes, it's true, I get hopping mad!) I hasten to add that I have *never* hit him or otherwise been violent toward him.

When my anger is toward a behavior of his that is not appropriate (kicking, grabbing, etc.) I first try to redirect his action. "Please use your feet to walk or to kick a soccer ball, not to kick a person. Nobody likes to be kicked." Then I might try to extricate him from the situation by picking him up and engaging him in something else. Failing that, though, I sometimes get mad and yell. I know he's not scared of me, because he mainly thinks it's funny when I get upset. (I'm sure I look ridiculous.)

I want to teach that everyone feels emotions and it's ok to express them. AND I want to teach that there are healthy ways of expressing them that don't hurt people. And yet I never quite learned those lessons in my bones...

Any thoughts or feedback?


9th May 2005

smilie1769:05pm: I'm writing on behalf of my friends Alexandra and Rapheal Spindell, whose child Andrei Love was taken away from them by ASC 9 months ago. Since then, they have been unable to retrieve their child, who has been moved from one foster home to another because of foster-parent neglect. A & R were responsible parents, highly knowledgeble in nutrition and child development. In court, the judge focuses on their veganism, and the fact that Alexandra delivered Andrei in a home-birth. Facts about Andrei's health before he was taken from them are not discussed.

I don't know what most of you can do, probably nothing, but please read their story, and spread it if you can. They are very good people, and what is happening to them is cruel and disgusting. Andrei's childhood is also being destroyed.



14th April 2005

yumismuse11:29pm: Hey Everyone! My name is Natalie, and I am mom to a littel girl, almost 3, and am 26 weeks pregnant with a boy. Just wanted to find some friends who know and understand the life and worries and priorities of parenthood.

30th March 2005

twoparentheses2:29am: Stop Domestic Abuse
First, I would like to apologize for disabling comments. The reason is that this banner links back to the entry where this banner originated, and there is a long essay there about my views on corporal punishment and child abuse, and I'd like to keep all discussion, comments, and questions in one place. Please understand that I do NOT consider corporal punishment and child abuse equivalent. But you can read about that in my journal, and comment there, too.

The main message I am spreading is this: Domestic violence goes on far too much unchecked. "Corporal punishment", quite often (although not always, obviously), are simply words used to disguise domestic violence. Please. Let's put a stop to this. The home should be a safe place. And spread the word.

Loving is not hurting.

crossposted everywhere.

27th November 2004

4tearsyoucry7:07am: In the past two days, my little guy who just turned one the end of October, has gotten out of his crib. What do I do? I put a gate in the doorway, but he is way too little to be wandering around his room in the middle of the night.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

22nd November 2004

daladyaphrodite3:06pm: Hi all. Let me introduce myself:
I am 23, married and we have a three month old baby girl. I live in Baltimore and I am practicing attatchment parrenting..well, as I see fit. ThisCollapse )is my little girl, Morgan.

i have a question. Does anyone in this community know anything about Elimination Communication?
Current Mood: geeky

20th September 2004

mamawrites8:46am: between baby and big kid
My daughter is 3 and a half. She seems to be really in a state of change. Some mornings, she's very "big kid" -- she wants to pour her own cereal and milk, clean up the table afterwards, choose her own clothes, etc. Other mornings, she wants me to carry her downstairs, and whines for a teether from the freezer (even though I really don't think she's teething). Some evenings, she wants to cut her own food, but other nights, she wants to be spoonfed.

I'm trying to let her have her own feelings, while also setting consistent limits about what I will and will not do for her. I can't carry her for more than a minute, because she's over 40 pounds and I risk throwing my back out. I ask her to use words, and say please, to get what she wants. I try hard not to reward whining, while also supporting her when she really seems to be honestly struggling to find words for what she wants. I'll propose two alternative things that she could say to me, when she's whining, for instance.

It's just really wearing on me, and I could use some support from folks who have gone through this stage. Advice would be welcome too...

7th September 2004

rivalrose8:28am: HI
I just joined this community and wanted to tell you guys about myself.
I am a 23 year Old who's married, and we have a 3 year old daughter.
I'm lucky when it comes to raising Ciara because she wasn't the only child I have raised.I took care of my younger brothers Chad and Justin most of the time.I fed them their bottles, and changed their diapers.. ect. So I am pretty expierienced With my daughter Ciara.No matter how much you have learned there will be one more thing you need to know.Now that she is getting older I realize parentig doesn't get any easier with time. She is a little person now. Her friends come over to play.She can choose what color she wants and What clothes she wants to wear.I see her becoming a teenager already and she's only three .0.o;; Where did my baby go?
I can still remember the day she was born.Sleeping in my arms.Wondering what kind of person this sweet lil baby would grow up to be.I see the first phase of my daughters personality, and I absolutely love her!Here are a few pics of her behind cut^^

My sweet lil girl ^^Collapse )

11th August 2004

i_like_icecream12:20pm: I need some help.
My son will be 16 months on the 16th of Aug.
He's of course at that age where he is getting into EVERYTHING.

Up until about three weeks ago when he did it, it was cute and funny. We all got used to laughing at him when he got ahold of the tv remote and laughed like crazy about it. I guess it was bad to do.

I'm wondering what the age is that you have to "put your foot down" about wrong and right. I'm worried he's too young and he won't understand and it will make him upset to say "no." Can he understand "no" now?

I have tried saying "no." firmly and raising my voice. He starts to cry everytime. Now he is crying if I take things out of his hand. He pretty much cries everytime he doesn't get his way now. Which pretty much means he is crying all of the time. My house is childproof but with the walking there is always something he shouldn't have that he grabs. I don't know what to do. I don't believe in hitting children at all. My mom said slap his hands but I definetly do not want to do that but it doesn't seem like no is working beucase he just cries at me and goes right back to doing it.

I don't want him crying all of the time either. I feel bad and I"m paranoid he's going to start to be afraid of me or something.

Any help would be highly appreciated. I really have no idea what ot do aobut this.

10th August 2004

jucifer5:12pm: Moving to Marlborough, Massachusetts and in need of a doctor
Hi all,
I am moving to Marlborough, MA within the next couple of months from Boston. Hubby and I are in the process of closing on a house.
We have a 16 1/2 week old daughter and are looking for a pediatrician.
Now... we are looking for specific requirements from a doctor.
These are...
1. 100% supporter of Breastfeeding(no free "gift" formula passed out in the office). And possibly have a Lactation Consultant to refer to(if needed).
2. Won't give you too hard of a time for delayed vax.
3. Won't give you a hard time about co-sleeping
Those are my main concerns in finding a pediatrician.

Does anyone have any info that I can start from or even name of doctors?
Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.
If you don't wish to post names here, you can email me at.. jucifer@livejournal.com

Thanks in advance!! :)


[x-posted all over the place]

If this is off-topic feel free to delete it. :)

24th July 2004

logansmommy9:08pm: Havn't posted in a while.... VA moms?!
Hi All!
I havn't posted in a while and wanted to say hi!
Im a young mother to a beautiful boy Logan who was 2 on the 12th! He is such a wonderful part of my life.
We are interested in finding likeminded parents and children, we are interested and practice alot of 'attachment parenting' things.

I am looking for moms in VA. We havn't been here long and are in need of friends! LOL

~ amanda

8th July 2004

goodolbuttfart3:01pm: The Joys of Fatherhood.
Father's Day may have already come and gone, but it's never too late to reflect and look back on what makes being a daddy so special.

This website is chock full of useful articles and stories about the ups and down of fatherhood, including:

Rocky DaBraso's Guide To Beating Your Kids. Don't let your kids get away with murder. Rocky will show you how.

My Daddy Has A Vagina. The new best-selling children's book.

My Little Bundle of Yolk. A story of inspiration for negligent fathers-to-be everywhere.

250 Things To Do When The Baby Cries.

And many more! Well, a couple more.

Fatherhood is truly a gift. Prove that you're worthy of such a gift by spending your free time reading about it on the Internet...

National Lampoon's JOYS OF FATHERHOOD.

Warning: Site not recommended for squares, dorks, or anybody else without a sense of humor. Ya dorks.

30th June 2004

sukonmyfanger4:04pm: HI : )

Hi, i'm Kristal. New here from Louisiana; posted a couple comments.  I have a seven year old son, Clayton.  Included a pic, behind the cut, tho he's about 2 years older now.



3 picsCollapse )

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