I am getting ready to start addressing the issue of labels on ds's toys with the in-laws. I don't want character toys/books in the house for him or religious toys/books. Is it right and within my limits for me to request the same with the toys they have for him at their house (regarding what they buy specifically for him)? What has your experience been with explaining your no logo policy with your family members who aren’t media savvy? How can I keep it simple for them without sounding like an over-protective parent (which they probably will think)? Dh is pretty ambivalent about this but he understands where I’m coming from and will support me. Unfortunately, he has no advice to offer and right now I have no friends with kids to ask – except my hip mama friends!

  • ima_omi

Score one for the low-tech mama!

This afternoon, my son and I had a blast playing on the front porch with a big pot of water, a few cups and a clean kitchen sponge. We were just goofing around trying to stay cool -- splashing each other, squeezing the sponge over each others' heads, pouring water from cup to cup. Later our friends came over for dinner. Mind you, I really like these friends a lot, and their daughter and my son are very close, in their little toddler way. But the friends' house is filled with every conceivable plastic toy, and the pace of life there is much faster & louder than at our house. (The child has a ball pit, for pete's sake.) So after dinner, the kids started playing together on the porch. There were squeals of delight as they splashed each other, made it "rain," and climbed into the pot! As they were leaving, my (adult) friend said, "I never imagined they could have so much fun with a pot of water and some cups."

xposted to my parenting groups

questions about anger

Hello all,

I am a 37-year-old mother of a glorious 16-month-old son. I come from a family of bathroom cryers; any "negative" emotion was hidden and disposed of in private, and grievances were rarely aired and discussed with the person they concerned. (More likely we'd, say, tell mom about what sister did that made us mad. I call it gathering an army.) As a result I don't know how to handle anger with my son. I want to create a more authentic emotional environment for him than I had growing up, and to give him the space to feel what he feels and talk it through. That depends, though, on being able to verbalize what's bothering you, and of course at his age, he cannot yet do that. So that's my question about *his* anger.

Then there's the question about *mine*.

I find, particularly as we're entering the toddler stage, that I am sometimes short-tempered with him, and that I don't know how to handle it. I sometimes have an explosive temper, which manifests itself in yelling and foul language, and sometimes jumping around. (Yes, it's true, I get hopping mad!) I hasten to add that I have *never* hit him or otherwise been violent toward him.

When my anger is toward a behavior of his that is not appropriate (kicking, grabbing, etc.) I first try to redirect his action. "Please use your feet to walk or to kick a soccer ball, not to kick a person. Nobody likes to be kicked." Then I might try to extricate him from the situation by picking him up and engaging him in something else. Failing that, though, I sometimes get mad and yell. I know he's not scared of me, because he mainly thinks it's funny when I get upset. (I'm sure I look ridiculous.)

I want to teach that everyone feels emotions and it's ok to express them. AND I want to teach that there are healthy ways of expressing them that don't hurt people. And yet I never quite learned those lessons in my bones...

Any thoughts or feedback?


(no subject)

I'm writing on behalf of my friends Alexandra and Rapheal Spindell, whose child Andrei Love was taken away from them by ASC 9 months ago. Since then, they have been unable to retrieve their child, who has been moved from one foster home to another because of foster-parent neglect. A & R were responsible parents, highly knowledgeble in nutrition and child development. In court, the judge focuses on their veganism, and the fact that Alexandra delivered Andrei in a home-birth. Facts about Andrei's health before he was taken from them are not discussed.

I don't know what most of you can do, probably nothing, but please read their story, and spread it if you can. They are very good people, and what is happening to them is cruel and disgusting. Andrei's childhood is also being destroyed.



(no subject)

Hey Everyone! My name is Natalie, and I am mom to a littel girl, almost 3, and am 26 weeks pregnant with a boy. Just wanted to find some friends who know and understand the life and worries and priorities of parenthood.

Stop Domestic Abuse

First, I would like to apologize for disabling comments. The reason is that this banner links back to the entry where this banner originated, and there is a long essay there about my views on corporal punishment and child abuse, and I'd like to keep all discussion, comments, and questions in one place. Please understand that I do NOT consider corporal punishment and child abuse equivalent. But you can read about that in my journal, and comment there, too.

The main message I am spreading is this: Domestic violence goes on far too much unchecked. "Corporal punishment", quite often (although not always, obviously), are simply words used to disguise domestic violence. Please. Let's put a stop to this. The home should be a safe place. And spread the word.

Loving is not hurting.

crossposted everywhere.

(no subject)

In the past two days, my little guy who just turned one the end of October, has gotten out of his crib. What do I do? I put a gate in the doorway, but he is way too little to be wandering around his room in the middle of the night.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

(no subject)

Hi all. Let me introduce myself:
I am 23, married and we have a three month old baby girl. I live in Baltimore and I am practicing attatchment parrenting..well, as I see fit. ThisCollapse )is my little girl, Morgan.

i have a question. Does anyone in this community know anything about Elimination Communication?
  • Current Mood

between baby and big kid

My daughter is 3 and a half. She seems to be really in a state of change. Some mornings, she's very "big kid" -- she wants to pour her own cereal and milk, clean up the table afterwards, choose her own clothes, etc. Other mornings, she wants me to carry her downstairs, and whines for a teether from the freezer (even though I really don't think she's teething). Some evenings, she wants to cut her own food, but other nights, she wants to be spoonfed.

I'm trying to let her have her own feelings, while also setting consistent limits about what I will and will not do for her. I can't carry her for more than a minute, because she's over 40 pounds and I risk throwing my back out. I ask her to use words, and say please, to get what she wants. I try hard not to reward whining, while also supporting her when she really seems to be honestly struggling to find words for what she wants. I'll propose two alternative things that she could say to me, when she's whining, for instance.

It's just really wearing on me, and I could use some support from folks who have gone through this stage. Advice would be welcome too...


I just joined this community and wanted to tell you guys about myself.
I am a 23 year Old who's married, and we have a 3 year old daughter.
I'm lucky when it comes to raising Ciara because she wasn't the only child I have raised.I took care of my younger brothers Chad and Justin most of the time.I fed them their bottles, and changed their diapers.. ect. So I am pretty expierienced With my daughter Ciara.No matter how much you have learned there will be one more thing you need to know.Now that she is getting older I realize parentig doesn't get any easier with time. She is a little person now. Her friends come over to play.She can choose what color she wants and What clothes she wants to wear.I see her becoming a teenager already and she's only three .0.o;; Where did my baby go?
I can still remember the day she was born.Sleeping in my arms.Wondering what kind of person this sweet lil baby would grow up to be.I see the first phase of my daughters personality, and I absolutely love her!Here are a few pics of her behind cut^^

My sweet lil girl ^^Collapse )